Things they should invent that I would buy

I struggled for inspiration for what to write about this week so i have combined 2 of my favourite things and constructed some lists about inventions that absolutely should exist (I love a list)

Things they should invent that I would buy

  • A sofa curtain/crumb catcher – who is really moving the couch out the way every time….not me!
  • A sofa insert/crumb catcher….see above but for under the cushions….I never find money in the sofa only food…mainly coco pops.
  • Self cleaning floors – I think this speaks for itself…also be prepared for mainly cleaning avoidance based inventions as I was sat in my house while writing.
  • An app that allows me to take pictures of cluttered areas and it will tell me where the f**k to start.
  • A cafetiere that eats the coffee grounds when they have been left in the pot
  • An insta sleep for my 3 year old
  • A magic toy box- see Mary Poppins bag
  • A warm milk dispenser – I know there are formula machines out there. I need a vending machine that provides perfect temperature (this is whatever my 3 year old decides at the time) whole milk with a few dashes of water; served in the only bottle he will use,  on demand…it will also sometimes have to buy the milk…as I forgot.


What I think my fella would buy


  • Robot gardener
  • Quiet bubble (that he could hide in and have a nap/read)
  • A never ending Book either by Wilber Smith or bernard Cornwell
  • Also an instant sleep for our son
  • A mobile air conditioning unit, that is invisible and weightless
  • Shorts that look like Jeans/trousers (maybe a hologram projects the rest i don’t know no one has invented them)
  • A transporter (He does not travel well)
  • An app that comes up witty replies if he can’t think of one in time


What i think my son would buy


  • A dinosaur
  • A never ending chocolate provider
  • An instant warm milk dispense (We are agreed on this one)
  • A clone of me, so he can stroke/poke my forehead “because it’s warm Mummy” even when I am not there
  • That one…that one…that one (any toy that has been seen/glimpsed no matter how brief)
  • A pill that he could take so that he would never have to do another poo (*note I once had to pretend to be a poo asking permission to come out of my sons bum so that he could do the poo….I didn’t know what voice I would use for a poo until that very day….I did Mr Hanky…..from South Park…parenting is FUN!)


And i think that is a great place to end my lists.


Just for fun this is the list my fella made


  • Robot gardener
  • The shower unit thing from The Girl From Tommorow
  • Clothes that fit automatically Back to the Future 2 style but also have air conditioning in them
  • Which brings me to Hover board obviously
  • Rat repellent that means you are never nearer to a rat than a mile
  • teleporter with zero risk of becoming half fly
  • Hammock rooms and for them to become standard in restaurants
  • A coffee plunger thing that cleaned itself somehow
  • A wearable bubble to stop you getting ill before a holiday/Christmas or if someone talks to you on a train – would be nice if it floated a bit too
  • A slap silly device where i could just press a button and someone was magically slapped silly, like Donald Trump to pick a name completely at random.

15 thoughts on “Things they should invent that I would buy

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